How many times have you watched a horror movie and screamed at the screen: “turn around” or “don't go up the stairs!” at the hopeless characters trying to get away from a killer on the loose? ALL THE TIME.
Sure it makes a good film, but why do characters in slasher movies have to be so… dumb? It's certainly a lot easier to sit on the sofa and tell yourself you'd make better decisions if you were in that situation! Here are the top tips to surviving a horror movie...
Don't babysit alone on the scariest night of the year:
Duh! Michael Myers' reign of terror on Halloween could easily have been prevented if Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) stayed with her girlfriends instead.
(Compass International Pictures)
Don't have a conversation with the killer on the phone:
Casey (Drew Barrymore) unfortunately learned the hard way that if a stranger calls, you hang up straight away and you, by all means, do not engage in a phone conversation with the stalker. Maybe it's just the modern woman in us, but we don't answer to unknown numbers - if only Casey had caller ID.
(Dimension Films)
If you run into trouble, don't enter a creepy looking house in the wilderness:
Okay, so they did witness a hitchhiker shoot herself for no apparent reason but that's still no excuse for the group of friends in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (all remakes) to go knocking on the door of that eerie white house in the middle of nowhere. Even if the sheriff lives there. How about waiting for someone else to come along - or find a payphone? They had those in 2003 you know!
(New Line Cinema)
Never trust a grown man with serious mother issues living in a spooky motel:
A man of Norman Bates' age who is that attached to his mother - or his dead mother for that matter - should be avoided like the plague. Because you know what happens? That type of guy hides the rotting corpse of his mother in a bedroom and wears her wig pretending to be her, while spying at you through a peephole before stabbing you in the shower. Or maybe that's just Norman.
(Shamley Productions)
Don't watch a mysterious video tape that promises to kill you seven days later:
It's that simple. Why would you do it. The Ring has some great life lessons.
(Dreamworks)
Don't fall asleep:
If there's a creepy man haunting children's dreams you'd be wise to drink as much coffee as possible and keep those blinkers open to avoid getting sucked into Freddie's Nightmare on Elm Street.
(New Line Cinema)
Don't go for a weekend in a secluded Cabin in the Woods:
Does that really sound appealing knowing you're miles away from help?! That's just asking for trouble.
(Lionsgate)
If a strange middle-aged woman says she's “you're number one fan”… run:
This is a tricky one because Paul (James Caan) was injured while trapped at the home of Annie (Kathy Bates), so he couldn't really move. But still, it's a massive warning sign.
(Castle Rock Entertainment)
Don't hike to the middle of the woods chasing an urban legend:
The Blair Witch Project guys had no hope!
(Haxan Films)
